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Are we raising snowflakes, or stopping them learning to stand alone?

Young people are not snowflakes. NHS England's Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey found 25.8% of 16 to 24 year olds in England had a common mental health condition in 2023/4, up from 17.5% in 2007. Yet a 2025 Unite Students survey found 67% of parents of first-year students track their child's location by app. Alastair Greener asks whether loving protection can leave young people less room to learn to cope.

No, young people are not snowflakes. NHS England's Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey found that 25.8% of 16 to 24 year olds in England had a common mental health condition in 2023/4, up from 17.5% in 2007. That distress is real. But I think we also need to ask a harder question of ourselves: is some of our care, however loving, stopping young people learning to stand on their own?

Common mental health conditions among 16 to 24 year oldsShare of 16 to 24 year olds in England with a common mental health condition
  • 200717.5%
  • 2023/425.8%

Source: NHS England, Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey

Two stories caught my eye in September 2026, and I wonder whether they are more closely connected than they first appear.

Are young people really snowflakes?

The first story challenged the lazy description of young people as "snowflakes". Speaking to the BBC, Professor Peter Fonagy, who chairs the government's independent review into mental health conditions, ADHD and autism, said that "it's harder to be young now". His advice to anyone using the label, in LBC's report of the interview, was to "just try living 24 hours as a 16-year-old". As of late September 2026, the review had published an interim report on 10 June 2026 and its final report was still to come.

There's no doubt in my mind that it is harder being young today than it was for previous generations. Social media, economic uncertainty, disrupted sleep, loneliness and the feeling of being constantly "on" all play a part.

Why do so many parents track their students?

The second story brought me up short. It reported that 67% of parents of first-year university students use an app to track their child's whereabouts. Two thirds. Really? The same figure appears in a Unite Students survey of 1,027 parents of first-year students, carried out by Censuswide in September 2025.

Parents of first-year students who track them by app
  • 67%of parents of first-year university students use an app to track their child's whereabouts

Base: 1,027 parents of first-year students Source: Unite Students survey, carried out by Censuswide in September 2025

I'm not blaming parents. I believe most tracking comes from love, concern and the technology now available, and some may come from peer pressure when other parents are doing the same. But if we keep monitoring young adults after they leave home, checking whether they are attending lectures, where they spend their evenings and even whether they have left their beds, when do they learn to manage risk, make decisions and recover from mistakes?

Dr Dominique Thompson, a former GP and young people's mental health expert quoted in the Unite release, said: "We need to be comfortable with not knowing where our adult children are at all times".

How do young people build resilience?

Resilience isn't something young people either possess or lack. It develops through experience: solving problems, coping with uncertainty, making poor choices and discovering that life continues. Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation, which I have recommended before, argues that childhood was rewired by smartphones and social media "as well as the decline of independence and free play", as its website puts it.

Gen Z didn't raise themselves. Many grew up with academic pressure, a smartphone in the pocket and, when things went wrong, someone ready to step in.

Our own data shows how differently setbacks land. In Communication Habits and Preferences 2024, 25% of Gen Z aged 16 and over said being happy to shrug things off and "put it down to experience" was not like them (scoring 0 to 3 out of 10), against 13% of Baby Boomers. Another 25% of Gen Z said it described them well, so Gen Z are far from uniform on this.

How can parents let go without stepping away?

Letting go is a communication skill, and it improves with practice. None of this means dismissing genuine mental illness as a lack of resilience. If a young person is persistently low or anxious, take it seriously and help them reach their university's wellbeing service or their GP. For the everyday wobbles, a few habits help.

Talk about the tracking app openly. If location sharing was a family habit at school, agree together whether it continues and when it stops. Dr Thompson's advice is that "we probably need to wean ourselves off the tracking app", and encourage children to do the same.

Swap checking for conversation. Agree a call or message rhythm that suits your son or daughter, and let them fill in the detail.

Ask before you fix. When they bring you a problem, ask what they think they will do before offering the answer. Small setbacks, like a missed seminar or a tight week with money, are where coping skills get built.

Step back gradually, so that support shrinks as their confidence grows. Our Generation Z guide sets out more of what the data says about this generation.

What can universities and employers do?

In July 2025 I wrote that, for universities and employers, the real question is how we help this generation develop the tools to support themselves, and that it starts with empathy. Give new students and new starters problems they are trusted to solve, clear feedback, and time to recover when they get something wrong.

The podcast has explored this from several sides. Durham University student James Stallabrass described what university really looks like for Gen Z students in 2026. Emma Clark, co-founder of Anxiety Uncovered, discussed Gen X raising Gen Z, anxiety, schools and smartphones, and consultant psychologist Dr Stacy Moore explored the psychology of generations: resilience, risk and reward.

As Generation Alpha moves towards adulthood, with Generation Beta following behind, we should stop calling young people snowflakes. But surely we should also consider whether our understandable desire to keep them safe sometimes makes it harder for them to stand on their own. How much do you check in, and how much do you let go?

Frequently asked questions

Is Gen Z a snowflake generation?

No. The evidence points to real and rising distress. NHS England's Adult Psychiatric Morbidity Survey found 25.8% of 16 to 24 year olds in England had a common mental health condition in 2023/4, up from 17.5% in 2007. Professor Peter Fonagy, who chairs the government's review of mental health conditions, ADHD and autism, said in September 2026 that "it's harder to be young now".

How many parents track their child at university?

A Unite Students survey of 1,027 parents of first-year university students, carried out by Censuswide in September 2025, found that 67% use an app to track their child's location once they leave for university. Tracking often comes from love and concern, but it can leave young adults with fewer chances to make and recover from their own decisions.

How can parents help a young adult build resilience?

Resilience develops through experience, so give young people room to solve problems themselves. Talk openly about location apps and agree when they stop, replace checking with an agreed call or message rhythm, ask what they plan to do before offering a solution, and step back gradually. Take persistent low mood or anxiety seriously and help them reach university wellbeing services or their GP.

What can employers do for young staff who struggle with setbacks?

Drop the snowflake label. Resilience develops through experience, so give new starters problems they are trusted to solve, clear and regular feedback, and time to recover when they get something wrong. Support can then step back as their confidence grows, which is how coping skills get built at work as well as at university.

Hear young people, parents and psychologists talk about growing up in every generation on the Generationally Speaking podcast.

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